How do you know what to say when you pray?
Should it be formal? Are we supposed to talk about the little things in our lives or just the big stuff? It’s a common dilemma.
When surveyed, over 70 percent of Americans say they pray weekly. But for many of us, prayer functions like a spiritual slot machine in the sky with a big ear attached to it.
If we pour in just the right words, the screen will come up all cherries, a bell will go off, and our answer will slide into their lives. It’s more about hitting the jackpot than striking up a conversation with God.
About Love
After years of slot machine praying, I’ve found that prayer is not about catching God on a good day or stringing together the right words. It’s about love.
It’s about being in the presence of One who knows you inside and out, yet loves you beyond measure. Being with the Lover of your soul doesn’t take words. In fact, words can get in the way.
Prayer of this sort takes something more valuable. Time.
Spending significant time alone with God sounds like an extravagance no normal person could afford.
Sipping Slowly
Yet the only way to drink in the pure love of God revealed in Jesus is to sip it slowly.
This truth was revealed yet again in two separate, one-on-one coaching sessions a couple of days ago. Both individuals showed up hurried, distracted, and unable to focus.
Since their state shut down any real progress, I invited each of them to practice 5 minutes of centering prayer with me.
Being Centered
We made sure we were in a place that wouldn’t be interrupted and sat comfortably with both feet on the floor.
I suggested we each pick a word or a phrase to keep our minds focused, such as “Jesus,” “Abba,” “I receive your grace,” or “Have mercy on me.” We said that prompt silently to ourselves. Whenever a distracting thought came, we agreed to notice it, lay it to the side, and return to our centering word or phrase.
After setting a timer, I offered a one-sentence prayer inviting the Holy Spirit’s presence, and we prayed silently for 5 minutes.
In each case, the difference in demeanor after such a brief time was astounding. They were more centered, at peace and far more themselves than they had been just minutes before. In fact, they were both so amazed by the difference, they immediately made plans to do this practice daily.
In The Presence
Time alone with God is how we intentionally slow down. It allows us to take a breath, let go of our excess baggage, and sip in the Presence.
We may or may not receive specific instruction. However, we will return to our center, our true selves. Best of all, we’ll discover we are loved, deeply, and that gives us hope to carry on.
True whole prayer is nothing but love.
-St. Augustine
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Roger Ross
A native of Cambridge, Illinois, Roger has served as a pastor in Texas, the British Channel Island of Guernsey, and Illinois. While in Illinois, he led teams that planted two new churches and served for 10 years as the lead pastor of one of the largest United Methodist Churches in the Midwest. It was his privilege to serve as the Director of Congregational Excellence in the Missouri Conference before coming into his current role with Spiritual Leadership, Inc (SLI).
Roger now comes alongside pastors, non-profit leaders and their leadership teams as an executive coach, specializing in leadership that inspires change. As a side gig, he loves teaching evangelism and church planting as an adjunct professor at SMU’s Perkins School of Theology in Dallas, Texas.
Other passions of his include SCUBA diving in warm blue water, Krispy Kremes, and board games with family and friends. He also has a weakness for golf.
Roger is the author of three books, Meet The Goodpeople: Wesley’s 7 Ways to Share Faith, Come Back: Returning to the Life You Were Made For, and Come Back Participant Guide, all through Abingdon Press. Roger’s new book on Being and Making Disciples of Jesus releases August 2025.
Now for the best part. Roger is married to Leanne Klein Ross, and they live Bloomington, Illinois. God has blessed them with two adult children, a son-in-law, several tropical fish, and one adorable granddog.
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